After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it’s the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman "fixes" the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill. The man places the meat on the grill.
4. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
5. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
6. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
7. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
8. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
9. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

This is a classic, but men don’t expect it to be true.

So here is why I believe they sell us the fork along with the other utensils:

• Charge us more money
• Adjust the charcoal on the grill (primarily what I use it for)
• Remove hot cooking grates from the grill
• Gently poke this person who is asking, Is the food ready yet? (Be careful not to hurt anyone)
• Get a collection of BBQ Forks, and use them as Lawn Darts.
• Poke someone as hard as possible for doing a taste test of the food while on the grill (I really don’t recommend this one, violence is never good).
• Use it as a hunting tool to catch more animals that you would like to grill up.

So do with it what you want, as long as you don’t poke holes in your food, and remember, rested meat is better tasting meat!

J